Turning Conflict Into Connection
Leadership Matrix 2021
Summarizes four distinct leadership, teaching, and service styles – each of which balances priorities, needs, supports, goals, collaboration, and mutuality differently.
Restorative Chat / Processing Cards with Photos (2021)
9 FEELING CARDS; 9 NEED CARDS (PDF)
Download available below description
DESCRIPTION: The cards in this set (which can be downloaded below) are based on the practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC.org). The approach described here (to prepare for a restorative conversation with a helper) is one derivation of the Restorative Circles process developed by Dominic Barter in the Brazilian favelas. The cards are meant to help people in a conflict prepare for a restorative chat or conversation (assuming that the parties involved are part of a restorative system and are familiar with the concepts of restorative conversations, restorative dialogue, or restorative chats).
The cards are based on the idea that people express anger, sadness, confusion, opposition, embarrassment, and aggression when they perceive themselves as lacking in support, unable to understand or be understood, having their dignity denied, being treated unjustly, or being left out.
The cards are meant to support both children and adults in preparing for a restorative conversation with the other(s) involved, by getting in touch with their emotions and the deeper reasons behind the emotions. This can be done via a physical card sort (where non-relevant cards are turned face down) or by laminating the sheets and circling or highlighting the relevant words. For most people, doing the process with a non-judgmental other yields the best results – as the other person can listen, ask open ended questions, and reflect what they are hearing.
In a conflict between adults and children (even when it seems that the child has “created harm” and the adult has had no responsibility for the harm), our team has found that it can be powerful to have the adult(s) go through the prep process and come to the conversation having identified feelings and needs – as a way to model self-responsibility and collaboration. During the prep process, adults, as well as children, often discover that they acted out of proportion to the circumstances, or were particularly impatient because of an outside set of events. This helps people re-discover each other’s humanity during the restorative dialogue and come up with actions that can prevent a similar situation in the future.
NOTE ABOUT THE IMAGES: Pains have been taken to avoid or counteract common racial, ethnic, gender, and other stereotypes like “angry black boy”, “crying white girl”, “smart Asian kid”, and “sad kid with disability.” Attention to other kinds of diversity has also been given. However, this general set may not accurately represent the human spectrum of your particular setting, and some images may have negative connotations in your particular domain. If that is the case, we encourage you to create your own set with images from the internet – or even more fun – using posed photos of children in your setting.
We are happy to collaborate with you or your setting to create a (no cost) set of your own using our template, if you wish. Email elaine@conflict180.com to start the conversation.
RJ and RC EVIDENCE and OUTCOMES
Academic articles, essays, and research reports
QUICK DATA COLLECTION TOOLS
10-item School Climate Survey for Students and Staff
NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES and TIPS
Restorative News and Tips Archive
BOOKS AND MANUALS
Teaching Restorative Practices with Classroom Circles by Amos Clifford Center for Restorative Process – free PDF with lots of great information
Circle Forward: Building a Restorative School Community by Carolyn Boyes-Watson and Kay Pranis – tons of classroom circle ideas in front of book (note; the conflict section of this book does not follow the dialogue circle model we have been sharing with our schools)
VIDEOS
Budding collection of videos showing circles and restorative practices in action.
CONFLICT 180 COPYRIGHTS: